Nature

There is no way of knowing what the future holds. I stand here and wait for it to happen. Feeling the presence of misery and immortality at my hands. Love it or leave it, I must obey. The sentiment is at ease for now. Tomorrow is another day. Then in that day, that hour, the sentiment will instil yet another feeling. Unknown to me now, I wait and see. My past brings me no light upon the future, but the present? Perhaps my past, at the correct time, becomes a present factor. In time the cosmic factors shape themselves to form a perfect circle around my ora. Within my state of mind a relaxed feeling comes over me. The wheels of confusion bend at the knees.

Silence is a strain on my most precious feelings. I wonder in a land of fairytales and stories. The illusion of reality, deafening as it may be, must be the last cosmic factor. Their alignment is the key to my happiness. I hear a cry from behind me. A plea from my own soul. Save yourself and let your light shine. My own soul speaks to me as if God where right beside me. My soul, my God; one in the same. Put them together and those cosmic factors are matched. Placed infront of me; I gladly take them. Yet, I submiss into a state of confusion. Where am I going? Where does this lead? These questions come about only to give way to more confusion. The future may be bright, but all I see is confusion. I deny myself the freedom to live for the now, so perhaps I can catch just a small glimpse of the future. A mistake I make all too often.

Tomorrow is another day. Fuck tomorrow, live for today. You could die tomorrow. That's the way life should be. Live one day at a time. My future has no boundries, it has no plans, it has no blue prints. When one day passes, another future begins. So I am leaving tomorrow, for today. It's a bright day. I think I will take a walk. Listen to the sounds of nature. They do not wait for tomorrow. Nature sees no tomorrow. Nature sees only of the present. Nature is healer, I can feel it's presence. It tells me what I am doing wrong, then puts a smile on my face. Yes, I can truly say I love nature. So I will go for a walk today and find out just what I am doing wrong.

The cosmic factors will be in place, nature will be right there with me and my questions will be answered. Looking upon the future brings no relief. Living in the past only brings pain and sorrow. Living in the present; now that's where the good times lye. I have all I want when I am at piece with this world. Too few times does this happen. Rejoice on those times, but don't let them hold you down. They can get the best of me. When I am unblanced I become depressed. Unsure of where to go next; what steps to take and where they will lead me. It gets very confusing. Today I can feel the cosmic factors aligning themselves for me. I feel the power of nature. It is coming to see how I am doing. Nature likes to do that every now and then. Just to keep me on my feet. When it does, I calmly except the hand.

Very few things can give me a helping hand like nature can. I think I know what I am doing, but then things just don't seem to go my way. In these times I can get very depressed. Nature does not like to see me this way, but will not step in and help me out. No, I must help myself out in these situations. Once I have accomplised that, then nature steps in. Nature can raise me to new levels of conscious I have never seen before. To much pressure, to much time. This can be my mantra, my manifesto if you will. Nature releases my pressure. To often do I look outside myself to release pressure and stress in my life. When in actuality the strees and pressures of my life are only caused by one being. The supreme being. I cause my pressures, I cause my stress; in the same way I cause my happiness, my sorrows, and my pain. I have taken a likeness to my feelings. They give me meaning. They give me foundation. They can also give my great sorrow and even greater pain.

I am unsure of what to think about all this. The pain and sorrow I feel are but mere feelings. Nothing can hurt me more then myself. With nature at my side I can concure almost anything. Nature has that mystic power. It's her key. I at times have a mystic power about me. I like to call upon it. Wouldn't you? The mystic power is very hard to describe. It starts with a feeling, a powerful feeling. Then within the blink of an eye things and situations in your life seem to come together. For a moment everything makes sense. I would rather not know what is behind this mystic power. Rather let it be and watch it work. I believe in myself because nothing else is true. Realities are very different from one person to the next. People try to express themselves to me and I cannot help, but get bored. Their nature is not like mine. They do not see what I see, they do not feel what I feel.

However, I wish to see what they see, I wish to feel what they feel. That is genius. You can feel what you feel and see what you see, but to feel another? Can one person truly feel the pain of another. Phsyical or mental, it makes no difference. To feel anothers mental anguish, would to become God like. Humanity would not allow it. Sure humanity says they feel for another, but do they truly feel for another? Humanity is a two-fold concept. On one hand it has good values, on the other it covers them up with lyes and self-deciet. The only human that can feel me, is myself. So when someone says, 'I am like you.' I can not help, but question their divine theory of likeness. People are like pawns in the presence of nature. Humanity is the watershed that tryes to proclaim likeness to nature.

On the day of judgement, when God calls, who will win? Humanity vs. Nature? I have my bet on nature. Humanity does not have the strength that nature does. In fact it doesn't even compare. Humanity, when viewed through the eyes of nature is just a spec of dirt. Humanity; proclaim you are great, proclaim you are strong and rich, full of wonderful imagination. Stand tall humanity, while I watch you be crushed with just one blow. My nature has won another battle.

Jody Claggett

TRUE BEAUTY

These are Satan's scars that you caress
Still you are blind to that and seek only my desire
Through my eyes you look into twilight
The birth of darkness
And how I love thee...
Though oblivious to your emptiness
I touch you, tease you
Kissing me you reach your inner demons
But still you long
Still you want me more
Isn't it sweet when I suck on your veins?
This is true beauty when your passion is pain
And I know you are my pleasure
You are a victim to my misery
An angel fallen from the fog
The hate of my mind
The fuck of blandkind
This is love, my dearest sin
My black blood the flood that pours from within
Touch me
Cut me open and I'll let you see
The way my soul reeks only havoc
The way my razors let you bleed
But still you long for my embalming
As I am what is dead
And the world would have to let you die
This is why you're wrapped in me
This is why you cannot see my scars
I am boneless, I am on fire
This inhuman, unnatural mutation created by swiss army
knives and fallen angels
I wanted this
You want me now
To taste you, to suck on your veins
This is true beauty
Now your passion is pain


Tala Wisniewski

Let the Wave Be


Running, hiding,
Lies, defying,

Eyes of truth,
Lies of death,
Life for now,
Crush the rest,

Switching, twitching,
Loving, hating,

Beat down,
Left in the cold,
Simple pleasure,
Their only pain,

Flying, dieing,
Living, loathing,

Stomp through,
Look around,
No one here,
Just me, myself, and I,

Feeling, nothing,
Shining, something,

Scream to the silence,
Echos of fate,
Bleed into my mind,
Find that truth.


Jody Claggett

IN SATAN'S ARMS

Satin silver of the lost and hollow souls
In death I find I'm rich, but I would not trade this
life for gold
Kill me now, I yearn to taste sweet blood
Through the eyes of Satan is the only path of love
In their flesh so pale and silken, I long to drain
them pure
And through his palms of knowledge so much longing can
endure
And from his loins I ask no resurrection
I claim the venom in my tears as though some sweet
infection
Love me tender, love me to death
So let it be if I must burn with all the rest

-Tala Wisniewski